We all want to know if the person in front of us is the right one. It’s a question that can stir both hope and anxiety: Is this love real? Are they my person? Am I meant to stay or let go?
But here’s the truth I’ve come to learn—every single one of them has been the right one, for where you were in your evolution.
Each person you’ve loved, each relationship you’ve entered, reflected something about your level of self-awareness, your emotional patterns, and your capacity for love at that moment in time.
From a spiritual perspective, there are no mistakes in love. Every connection is a mirror. Some people arrive to awaken us, some to challenge us, some to heal something within us, and a few to walk beside us for a long time.
They are all the right ones for the chapter of growth they were written into.
The question then becomes less about are they the right one and more about am I growing from this experience?
When you start to see relationships through that lens, everything changes. The blame dissolves. The heartbreak softens. And instead of judging your past choices, you start to understand the lessons they were teaching you.
The right one for who you are now will feel peaceful, not chaotic.
They won’t trigger your survival wounds; they’ll hold space for your truth.
You won’t lose yourself in them; you’ll meet more of yourself through them.
And sometimes, before we meet that kind of love, life will ask us to pause.
After a breakup, it’s tempting to rush into the next connection, to fill the empty space. But the real magic happens in the pause.
That sacred space after endings is where you integrate. It’s where you ask:
- What did this relationship teach me about myself?
- What part of me was calling this experience in?
- What do I now know I need, desire, or deserve?
Taking that time out isn’t about self-punishment; it’s about evolution.
It’s how you move from one level of consciousness to another, so the next person you attract is aligned with who you’re becoming, not who you were.
Every person you’ve loved has played their part in your awakening. Some came to help you remember your worth. Others came to challenge your boundaries. A few might have cracked your heart wide open so that more light could get in.
And when you understand that, you stop clinging to the idea of the one. Because the truth is, you are the one, and the love you seek begins and ends within you.
If you’d like to explore this more deeply, I recorded a podcast episode on how to know if they’re right for you, what real alignment in relationships feels like, and how to navigate love consciously through each stage of your evolution.
Listen to the full episode here:
When you take time to reflect, to heal, and to meet yourself in the quiet, you realise that love has never been about finding the right one. It’s always been about becoming the version of you who is ready to experience love in its purest form.
You are already on that path. You are already doing the work. And every relationship you’ve had, no matter how it ended, was leading you here—to this deeper understanding of yourself.
With Love,
Em x
