For 17 years, I worked in television as a Senior Producer.
It was a world of big personalities, tight deadlines, huge budgets and enormous pressure. I loved it. The creativity, the pace, the challenge of pulling something extraordinary together with a team of talented people.
But looking back now, I can see something I couldn’t see at the time.
For many of those years, I was operating from both the wounded masculine and the wounded feminine.
The wounded masculine in me believed I had to push harder than everyone else. I drove myself relentlessly. Long hours, constant problem-solving, always on call. I felt responsible for everything and everyone. If something went wrong, my nervous system reacted as if it were my fault.
The wounded feminine in me overgave constantly. I wanted everyone around me to be okay. I wanted the team to be happy, the talent to feel supported, and the network to feel confident. I took on emotional responsibility for people and situations that were never actually mine to carry.
The combination of these two energies meant that my worth became completely wrapped up in my work.
If the show succeeded, I felt valuable.
If something went wrong, I felt like I had failed.
For years, I could run on adrenaline and passion. Television is an industry that almost rewards that level of drive.
But the body keeps the score.
In 2023, after years of pushing, my body simply shut down. Burnout wasn’t just exhaustion. It was my nervous system saying, “Enough.”
What I’ve come to understand since then is this.
High performance is not sustainable when it comes from pressure, proving and over-responsibility.
The healthiest leaders and professionals operate from a different place.
Balanced masculine energy gives us structure, clarity and the ability to make decisions.
Balanced feminine energy allows collaboration, empathy and creativity.
When those two are in harmony, we can lead, contribute and perform at a high level without sacrificing our well-being in the process.
It’s taken me time to untangle my identity from my career and rebuild from a place of calm rather than constant drive.
And honestly, the work that comes from that place is far more powerful.
Because when your worth is no longer tied to your performance, you show up very differently.
Calmer. Clearer. And far more sustainable.
If you want to learn how to release the pressure and overgiving, use this link to book either a 15-minute call with me or to join one of the weekly workshops I offer. https://calendly.com/emma-emma-ritchie
With Love,
Emma
