I’m currently at Sydney International Airport, checked in and a couple of hours to spare before i start the 30 hour journey from Manly Beach to Bedlington in the North East of the UK.
I’m really excited to see my family and looking forward to catching the tail-end of what sounds like an epic English summer. For the next three weeks I’ll be seeing my family in Northumberland, my friends down in Cambridge, Suffolk and Cambridgeshire and of course attend and celebrate my cousin Adele’s and her soon to be husband’s wedding. Three weeks of fun and bliss.
But if i’m totally honest, I’m going into this holiday already exhausted.
For the last three months I’ve thrown myself headfirst into three massive projects, starting a Health, Gardening and Wellness Brand with a friend, creating a YouTube library of over 400 hours of Meditation Content and continuing to work as a Coach, Hypnotherapist and Yoga Teacher. It’s been so incredibly creative and productive but sitting here now I can feel the toll of pushing on my body.
It feels like whenever there’s a project, a task to do, to complete, it’s like TV Emma comes online, the mindset of let’s go, let’s get this party started and it’s amazing to see how much is already up, established and going but this pace is not normal and it’s not something anyone needs to sustain.
I’ve always had a lot of drive, creative energy and I’m an incredible starter.
You need a mini festival creating for 5 days time, done,
You need an A’lister celeb to send a video message on a TV show, done,
You need 400 hours of content on a YouTube page in 5 weeks – done
You get the picture. I know my strength is making things happen.
But today as I sit in the airport getting ready for a double plane, double train commute to the village where i was born I have to ask myself to what cost.
I realise that somewhere early on into starting these projects three months ago that I yet again slipped from creation, bliss and flow state into productivity and into a pace that I remember from my TV days.
And it’s not that I’ve done anything wrong or there’s anything wrong with working to deadlines and making stuff happen but I realise a huge part of this way of working comes from a Survival Mindset. The mindset that if this doesn’t get done now, if I don’t do it then it won’t get done.
So, here’s the question I’m pondering
At what point does creation become productivity?
At what point does a vision become a goal with deadlines?
At what point does an idea created from love become an egoic quest of getting it off the to do list?
And these are the questions I ponder with a view to finding another way of working. A way where creation and productivity merge and flow, where they are easy to identify from each other as they support each other. Where deadlines are created and also factor in the energy of whats being created i.e is this just a production line churning things out or is each piece being created from the energy of love and creating value for others.
These questions are more for myself but if you find yourself working under this constant pressure and prioritising the volume of work over the essence of the work.
When I think of ART, you can buy a $20 mass produced poster which is pretty or you could buy a one of a kind hand painted poster by a local artist for $700 which is beautiful.
The truth is the result can be the same, you have a poster in your home.
But what you’re buying into the energy that is in that poster. The value, the time, the care, the love.
And this is what I’m learning over and over in my own dance of life. Is that everything I truly want and love and desire happens in the slow.
It’s not the final result, it;s whoI’ve been through the process.
Have I been stressed, overworking, not sleeping or have I loved every single moment of what I’ve been creating without the focus on the results happening as quickly as possible.
Maybe there’s a time and a place for both, to bring the creation out into the World takes some structure and goals but what I’m learning is is to catch the old pattern earlier on. That goals also include factoring in health, sleep, rest and taking care of yourself through the creative process.
I’m on a dance of learning and the cycles luckily are smaller and less dramatic so that each time I can catch myself, reset and remind the old program of overworking that I operate differently now.
Writing all of this down is helping me to remember the freedom I am, to love myself through this reminders and what in the past I would have called Flaws but now I see them as beautiful reminders and lessons.
Now I can see clearly what the next three weeks at home and beyond are about.
It’s time to once again be in the slow of life. To notice life happening around me and to drink in all the beauty, the laughter, the fun.
I’m starting to remember what slowness feels like, how good it feels to be in the slow and receive and notice and observe life happening.
And as I sit and write, still feeling a little exhausted, I’m remembering and taking this new energy of slowness with me over the next 30 hours.
Can I enjoy the expereince of flying and travelling from a slower perspective, can i make plans with my friends not from a frantic trying to fit everything in but from a slow pace and a trust that everyone and everything will fall into place.
Sending you all love from Sydney International Airport and see you on the other side
Em xx
I’m really excited to see my family and looking forward to catching the tail-end of what sounds like an epic English summer. For the next three weeks I’ll be seeing my family in Northumberland, my friends down in Cambridge, Suffolk and Cambridgeshire and of course attend and celebrate my cousin Adele’s and her soon to be husband’s wedding. Three weeks of fun and bliss.
But if i’m totally honest, I’m going into this holiday already exhausted.
For the last three months I’ve thrown myself headfirst into three massive projects, starting a Health, Gardening and Wellness Brand with a friend, creating a YouTube library of over 400 hours of Meditation Content and continuing to work as a Coach, Hypnotherapist and Yoga Teacher. It’s been so incredibly creative and productive but sitting here now I can feel the toll of pushing on my body.
It feels like whenever there’s a project, a task to do, to complete, it’s like TV Emma comes online, the mindset of let’s go, let’s get this party started and it’s amazing to see how much is already up, established and going but this pace is not normal and it’s not something anyone needs to sustain.
I’ve always had a lot of drive, creative energy and I’m an incredible starter.
You need a mini festival creating for 5 days time, done,
You need an A’lister celeb to send a video message on a TV show, done,
You need 400 hours of content on a YouTube page in 5 weeks – done
You get the picture. I know my strength is making things happen.
But today as I sit in the airport getting ready for a double plane, double train commute to the village where i was born I have to ask myself to what cost.
I realise that somewhere early on into starting these projects three months ago that I yet again slipped from creation, bliss and flow state into productivity and into a pace that I remember from my TV days.
And it’s not that I’ve done anything wrong or there’s anything wrong with working to deadlines and making stuff happen but I realise a huge part of this way of working comes from a Survival Mindset. The mindset that if this doesn’t get done now, if I don’t do it then it won’t get done.
So, here’s the question I’m pondering
At what point does creation become productivity?
At what point does a vision become a goal with deadlines?
At what point does an idea created from love become an egoic quest of getting it off the to do list?
And these are the questions I ponder with a view to finding another way of working. A way where creation and productivity merge and flow, where they are easy to identify from each other as they support each other. Where deadlines are created and also factor in the energy of whats being created i.e is this just a production line churning things out or is each piece being created from the energy of love and creating value for others.
These questions are more for myself but if you find yourself working under this constant pressure and prioritising the volume of work over the essence of the work.
When I think of ART, you can buy a $20 mass produced poster which is pretty or you could buy a one of a kind hand painted poster by a local artist for $700 which is beautiful.
The truth is the result can be the same, you have a poster in your home.
But what you’re buying into the energy that is in that poster. The value, the time, the care, the love.
And this is what I’m learning over and over in my own dance of life. Is that everything I truly want and love and desire happens in the slow.
It’s not the final result, it;s whoI’ve been through the process.
Have I been stressed, overworking, not sleeping or have I loved every single moment of what I’ve been creating without the focus on the results happening as quickly as possible.
Maybe there’s a time and a place for both, to bring the creation out into the World takes some structure and goals but what I’m learning is is to catch the old pattern earlier on. That goals also include factoring in health, sleep, rest and taking care of yourself through the creative process.
I’m on a dance of learning and the cycles luckily are smaller and less dramatic so that each time I can catch myself, reset and remind the old program of overworking that I operate differently now.
Writing all of this down is helping me to remember the freedom I am, to love myself through this reminders and what in the past I would have called Flaws but now I see them as beautiful reminders and lessons.
Now I can see clearly what the next three weeks at home and beyond are about.
It’s time to once again be in the slow of life. To notice life happening around me and to drink in all the beauty, the laughter, the fun.
I’m starting to remember what slowness feels like, how good it feels to be in the slow and receive and notice and observe life happening.
And as I sit and write, still feeling a little exhausted, I’m remembering and taking this new energy of slowness with me over the next 30 hours.
Can I enjoy the expereince of flying and travelling from a slower perspective, can i make plans with my friends not from a frantic trying to fit everything in but from a slow pace and a trust that everyone and everything will fall into place.
Sending you all love from Sydney International Airport and see you on the other side
Em xx
