An anxious mind is almost never here. It is replaying a conversation from last week, or rehearsing a disaster that hasn’t happened. Meanwhile your body is sitting in a chair, breathing, perfectly safe.
An anxious mind is living in the energy of:
1. I’m not safe
2. It’s all up to me
3. It’s not going to be okay
That gap between where your mind is and where your body is, is where anxiety lives. Your body is here, in this moment, it’s not in an event 10 years ago. Your body cannot be in the future or in the past but your mind can store trauma and emotions that make it feel like your body is reliving it.
Realising this is the first part of awareness.
This is the power of now. And it is available to you far more easily than you might think, once you understand what has been standing in the way.
Anxiety needs a story about the future to survive. “What if I fail? What if they leave? What if it all falls apart?” “This happened in the past so it’s going to happen in the future”
Take away the story and what is left is simply sensation: a fast heartbeat, a tight chest, a breath that wants to deepen.
When you bring your attention to what is actually here (your feet on the floor, the air on your skin, the sounds in the room) you give your nervous system fresh information. It hears, “There is no threat in this moment.” Your breath slows. Your thinking clears. You come home.
Presence doesn’t fight the anxious mind. It simply stops feeding it.
The real way to presence: remove what is blocking you
Here is what most advice about mindfulness leaves out. If you have tried to “just be present” and found yourself pulled away again within seconds, nothing is wrong with you. You don’t need more discipline.
Presence is your natural state. Watch a small child absorbed in play, or remember the last time you were so lost in a sunrise that time disappeared. You didn’t have to try. Nothing was in the way.
So the real question is not “How do I become more present?” It is “What is blocking me from the presence that is already here?”
Very often the answer is the parts of ourselves we have hidden. When something inside you is carrying shame, blame or guilt, being still can feel unsafe, because stillness is where those feelings rise. So the mind keeps busy. It scrolls, plans, worries and overthinks, all to avoid looking at what is underneath.
The good news is that once those parts are seen, they no longer need to be run from. And that is where shadow work comes in.
What is shadow work?
Shadow work is the practice of bringing the hidden parts of you to the surface and allowing them to be seen.
Your shadow is made up of everything you have pushed out of sight:
• The parts you feel ashamed of
• The parts you blame, in yourself or in others
• The guilt you are still carrying
We hide these parts for good reason. At some point it didn’t feel safe to show them. But hiding takes enormous energy, and what we hide doesn’t disappear. It hums away in the background as tension, restlessness and anxiety.
Shadow work is not about fixing or getting rid of these parts. It is about turning towards them with compassion and letting them be witnessed. When a hidden part is finally seen, without judgement, it softens. The energy you were using to hold it down comes back to you, and presence becomes easy again.
Why being seen needs a safe space
The parts of us that hold shame were hidden because it wasn’t safe to be seen. So they won’t come forward through willpower alone. They come forward when it finally is safe.
This is why shadow work is normally done in a one-on-one session or in a safe group setting, with someone who can hold steady while you show what you have kept hidden. Shame tells us, “If anyone saw this, they would turn away.” When someone sees it and stays, kind and unshaken, that old belief begins to dissolve.
A safe space means you set the pace, nothing is forced, and whatever arises is met with compassion and trust. In that kind of space, people are often surprised by how light they feel after sharing something they have carried for years.
Three gentle ways to begin today
1. Come back to your senses. Pause and name three things you can see, two you can hear and one you can feel. This takes thirty seconds and brings you straight into now. Breath and the focus on the feeling or sounds of my breath is key.
2. Notice what pulls you away. When your mind races off, get curious. Ask, “What am I avoiding feeling right now?” You don’t have to solve it. Noticing is enough.
3. Tell yourself the truth, kindly. Write down one thing you have been carrying shame, blame or guilt about. Then read it back as you would to a dear friend.
These steps open the door. The deeper release happens when you allow yourself to be seen by someone you trust.
You don’t have to do this alone
If you are ready to let go of what has been blocking you and feel calm, clear and present in your own life, I would love to support you. I offer one-on-one sessions and safe group spaces where every part of you is welcome.www.emma-ritchie.com and take your first step back to now.
With Love,
Emma
An anxious mind is living in the energy of:
1. I’m not safe
2. It’s all up to me
3. It’s not going to be okay
That gap between where your mind is and where your body is, is where anxiety lives. Your body is here, in this moment, it’s not in an event 10 years ago. Your body cannot be in the future or in the past but your mind can store trauma and emotions that make it feel like your body is reliving it.
Realising this is the first part of awareness.
This is the power of now. And it is available to you far more easily than you might think, once you understand what has been standing in the way.
Anxiety needs a story about the future to survive. “What if I fail? What if they leave? What if it all falls apart?” “This happened in the past so it’s going to happen in the future”
Take away the story and what is left is simply sensation: a fast heartbeat, a tight chest, a breath that wants to deepen.
When you bring your attention to what is actually here (your feet on the floor, the air on your skin, the sounds in the room) you give your nervous system fresh information. It hears, “There is no threat in this moment.” Your breath slows. Your thinking clears. You come home.
Presence doesn’t fight the anxious mind. It simply stops feeding it.
The real way to presence: remove what is blocking you
Here is what most advice about mindfulness leaves out. If you have tried to “just be present” and found yourself pulled away again within seconds, nothing is wrong with you. You don’t need more discipline.
Presence is your natural state. Watch a small child absorbed in play, or remember the last time you were so lost in a sunrise that time disappeared. You didn’t have to try. Nothing was in the way.
So the real question is not “How do I become more present?” It is “What is blocking me from the presence that is already here?”
Very often the answer is the parts of ourselves we have hidden. When something inside you is carrying shame, blame or guilt, being still can feel unsafe, because stillness is where those feelings rise. So the mind keeps busy. It scrolls, plans, worries and overthinks, all to avoid looking at what is underneath.
The good news is that once those parts are seen, they no longer need to be run from. And that is where shadow work comes in.
What is shadow work?
Shadow work is the practice of bringing the hidden parts of you to the surface and allowing them to be seen.
Your shadow is made up of everything you have pushed out of sight:
• The parts you feel ashamed of
• The parts you blame, in yourself or in others
• The guilt you are still carrying
We hide these parts for good reason. At some point it didn’t feel safe to show them. But hiding takes enormous energy, and what we hide doesn’t disappear. It hums away in the background as tension, restlessness and anxiety.
Shadow work is not about fixing or getting rid of these parts. It is about turning towards them with compassion and letting them be witnessed. When a hidden part is finally seen, without judgement, it softens. The energy you were using to hold it down comes back to you, and presence becomes easy again.
Why being seen needs a safe space
The parts of us that hold shame were hidden because it wasn’t safe to be seen. So they won’t come forward through willpower alone. They come forward when it finally is safe.
This is why shadow work is normally done in a one-on-one session or in a safe group setting, with someone who can hold steady while you show what you have kept hidden. Shame tells us, “If anyone saw this, they would turn away.” When someone sees it and stays, kind and unshaken, that old belief begins to dissolve.
A safe space means you set the pace, nothing is forced, and whatever arises is met with compassion and trust. In that kind of space, people are often surprised by how light they feel after sharing something they have carried for years.
Three gentle ways to begin today
1. Come back to your senses. Pause and name three things you can see, two you can hear and one you can feel. This takes thirty seconds and brings you straight into now. Breath and the focus on the feeling or sounds of my breath is key.
2. Notice what pulls you away. When your mind races off, get curious. Ask, “What am I avoiding feeling right now?” You don’t have to solve it. Noticing is enough.
3. Tell yourself the truth, kindly. Write down one thing you have been carrying shame, blame or guilt about. Then read it back as you would to a dear friend.
These steps open the door. The deeper release happens when you allow yourself to be seen by someone you trust.
You don’t have to do this alone
If you are ready to let go of what has been blocking you and feel calm, clear and present in your own life, I would love to support you. I offer one-on-one sessions and safe group spaces where every part of you is welcome.www.emma-ritchie.com and take your first step back to now.
With Love,
Emma
