Hello, beautiful souls!
Today’s focus is on “Taking Your Time Getting To Know People” – be it in work, friendship, or romantic connections.
In previous blogs and on the podcast, we explored the power of instincts and intuition, that subtle feeling in your stomach that speaks volumes when you meet someone for the first time. Amidst all the green flags and charming narratives, it’s crucial to pay attention to those tiny doubts, the moments when something doesn’t quite align.
Let’s talk about the importance of not rushing into things, especially in romantic relationships. In a world where actions often speak louder than words, it’s essential to discern between genuine intentions and superficial gestures. Men, often visual beings in love, and women, drawn to meaningful words, may find themselves caught in a whirlwind of promises.
I want to share a valuable insight: taking your time doesn’t mean being suspicious or distant. It’s about allowing connections to develop organically. Consider giving yourself at least two to three months of genuine dating – engaging in fun activities, deep conversations, and meaningful experiences without necessarily diving into physical intimacy. Really getting to know someone before adding in the added layer of oxytocin ( the attachment hormone released when you have sex)
For those navigating relationships with lower self-worth, this waiting period can be a sanctuary. It provides a buffer against heightened anxiety and allows you to observe how the other person responds to your pace and boundaries. It also allows you to witness if your pace is respected by the other person or if they are ‘just after sex’.
Now, let’s touch on a sensitive topic: the masks people wear. Even when people appear to be a ‘good person’ they can be wearing a mask and be very good at hiding who they truly are. Psychopaths and narcissists may hide behind facades of charity and philanthropy, exemplified by the shocking case in the UK of Jimmy Saville ( he fooled the entire UK that he was a philanthropist who wanted to help kids…..I’ll leave you to google the rest). Taking your time allows you to see beyond the surface and witness the true colors of those around you. People can only wear those masks for so long before they start to make mistakes and get confused by their own lies, so this is why taking your time with someone is so important.
The magic formula shared with me suggests two to three months of casual dating and six months as a milestone for evaluating the potential for a long-term relationship. At the six-month mark, masks tend to slip, revealing authentic selves. It’s a moment of truth where you decide if this connection aligns with your vision for the future.
I encourage you to be the CEO of your life, setting the pace and determining what feels right for you. Be smart about who you bring into your life / your business because once they are there, they could be there to stay. If anxieties arise, communicate openly with your potential partner and observe their response. A caring, understanding reaction speaks volumes about their character.
Remember, taking your time is a form of self-love and empowerment. You’re not being needy; you’re valuing yourself enough to express your feelings and ensuring that the journey aligns with your pace.
You are the CEO of your life and that includes being smart about who gets to come in and share it. Think about those high ranking jobs where the CEO has to be involved in the interviewing process. Those positions take three to five interviews in some cases before you get the job, so factor this in before inviting anyone so openly into sharing your World.